She’s Got the Wrong Guy

She’s Got the Wrong Guy

She’s Got the Wrong Guy: Why Smart Women Settle (New Growth Press)

The control freak. The angry man. The lazy guy. The unteachable guy. The promiscuous man. The unbeliever. The lone ranger. The unchurched guy. The new convert. The commitment-phobe.

For any woman who has struggled with failed relationships, this may seem like a familiar list. These are the men your friends and family have in mind when they think, “she’s with the wrong guy.” And while the reasons women choose these types of men are complicated and varied, ultimately, they will all let you down.

In She’s Got the Wrong Guy, Deepak Reju offers a different kind of dating book, discussing the types of guys women should not marry and offering biblical reasons why they aren’t suitable spouses. Writing from his years of experience as a pastor and counselor, Reju shares with women his perspective on how to assess a relationship’s strengths from the beginning, how to identify possible pitfalls, and how to have the courage to wait for a relationship that will be a blessing for both of you. Using stories that single women can relate to and highlighting contemporary issues in the modern world of dating, Reju gives readers clear, biblical direction on how to have positive, life-giving relationships with members of the opposite sex.

With a strong, Christ-centered focus, women will better understand why they “settle” for less than what God intends for their romantic relationships and learn to put their hopes and find their happiness in Jesus, not marriage.

Learn more, read a sample, and purchase a copy.


  • “We need God’s standard to ring loudly in our ears because the voice in us and the voices around us want nothing more than for us to abandon God’s Word.” (p. 49)

    There are not enough words or enough emotions in the world to express how I feel about the importance of this book. After experiencing the end of 22-years of marriage, I’ve ministered to a lot of single women, and I KNOW the teachings in this book are true, accurate and biblically sound. I want to buy cases of these books and scatter them like so much confetti to all of the single women I know – to all of the single men I know!! THIS IS A TOOL straight from the Father’s heart to minister to everyone who has settled for anything less than God’s principles for relationships.

    This isn’t a book of “do’s” and “don’ts’s”, rather, this is a book written from years of counseling men and women who settled for relationships that were less than God’s best. God’s grace covers all of our relational mistakes and His forgiveness draws us back to His heart if we submit to Him. Pastor Reju tenderly guides readers through principles and truths from God’s Word to equip them to choose and live wisely as unto the Lord – to wait patiently and serve God with our whole hearts as we become the people who live yielded to His will and plan for our lives.

    I thank GOD that this book has been written, and I plan to use it as a teaching tool for friends and small groups at the earliest opportunity. I want to live for Christ and Christ alone so that others will see and know that He is enough. He sustains, guides and loves us through this lifetime and into the next. I don’t have to settle than less than His best for me!! EVER!! AMEN!!!

  • It is a self help book for those that don’t know what they are looking for and tend to settle for the bad guy. So if you are single and looking for the right guy give this book a try.

  • My Thoughts On The Book: As an ex-wife, of almost 25 years, I wish I had had this book before I got married the first time. As a pastor I think this book is an excellent counseling tool for young almost married couples. I have to admit that it was not my favorite book of all times, yet it was necessary. It does seem to be a bit one sided and is geared more toward women than men. It was not a book of do’s and don’ts, it was a book of preparedness. I believe so many times we step into relationships without waiting on the Lord’s answer and we jump in head first not thinking of the results. For young women….or second timers this is a great read if you are stepping out into the relationship game again.
    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Litfuse Publishers. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

    Dating – should be easy but it’s so hard. What should you ask this stranger in order to get to know them better? What questions are most important? What should you do if things progress past the one or two dates? This book is indeed a guide to getting through those dates, those relationships that may lead to marriage. It is insightful and is full of scripture that makes you stop and think before you leap. That is most important. Not to make hasty decisions. To encourage you to fall back on your faith and let God lead you in the right direction.

  • This is a wonderful resource for single women! I love the true stories that enforce Deepak Reju’s thoughts.

  • Deepak Reju’s She’s Got the Wrong Guy: Why Smart Women Settle is a book that every single person — woman and man — should read. This is a tool, filled with spiritual wisdom and written with a pastor’s heart.

    What you won’t find in She’s Got the Wrong Guy: A list of do’s and don’ts. What you will find: Hope from one who has spent years in counseling ministry with real people in real relationships. God’s grace covers a every human endeavor, so it’s little surprise that God’s grace is the focus on this book. Reju tenderly guides readers through that grace, which equips us to live faithfully in our intimate relationships.

    This is a book I would give to every graduating student in the Church.


    I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exch

  • We’ve all had the encounter with dating the wrong person.  We wonder why we had a lapse in judgement, why we made a bad choice, why we let it linger on so long, etc. This read gives you an in depth understanding  of our choices and the different types of guys we choose to date. It has a lot of background and is based on the men and women that he has counseled over the years. It has a lot of scripture based relations and is easy to read.  I recommend this read!

  • I received a complimentary copy.

    – Humor and a full list of no guys for women to red flag. This author has laid out plans to include God in your relationships, which for most people will be a really good thing. Of course you can never guarantee that a man will be the way they seem, but with these tools maybe it will be a bit easier to find out.

  • When I received an email notifying me of the release of Deepak Reju’s latest book, She’s Got the Wrong Guy, my interest was very much piqued. Being one with poor experiences in dating and not marrying until the old age of 26 (at least it seems old when you’re single in the church), I had an inkling this book would be profound and my hunch was right. Reju beings the book by stating, “. . . in the midst of the contemporary challenges to dating and marriage, the greatest need for a single woman is to ground her life in Christ,” (pg. 1 ). I couldn’t agree more with this sentiment and realized that it is true even for me although my relationship status is different.

  • I really enjoyed that this book had different parts to it, the part that describe some of the types of men was dead on. I couldn’t believe that those types were ones that others possibly have come across. Pretty sure I have date at least one of each since my late teens through now. I have felt broken from each.

  • He reminded us that Jesus needs to be the most important and our first love. I really liked that he emphasized this and talked quite a bit about putting Jesus in the number one spot in your life. Reju also had a great chapter on why waiting is okay and how to wait well. I found it sad to see these women compromise their happiness, their faith and sometimes their morals just to stay with a guy in the hope that they’ll get married someday, even if the guy treats you like dirt.

  • When I first picked up She’s Got the Wrong Guy by Reju Deepak, I was skeptical. As a young single woman, I don’t need another how-to book on dating. However, when a second call went out about reviewing this book, I accepted because I have many close friends who have insisted on settling for the wrong kind of guy and I was genuinely interested in understanding why and perhaps if this would be a good book to recommend to them.

    The author has personally counseled many of these women so he seeks to give some clarity about why women settle for the wrong man. He gives about ten examples of guys to avoid: the angry man, the unchurched guy, the newly saved Christian, and so forth. As a young single who had grown up in the church and even read books such as I Kissed Dating Goodbye, a lot of the information about the wrong guys not to settle for I already knew. In fact, the guys he describes are the very guys that I would tell no to in a heartbeat if they asked.

    While most of the book was irrelevant to me, I don’t regret reading it because as I stated earlier, I picked it up mostly to understand why women would insist on settling for these kinds of guys. It makes sense now and this would be a book I would recommend to those ladies.

    The chapters are super short so the book can easily be a quick read. What I appreciated about the book is that the author gives lots of sound Scripture of hope and encouragement to the reader. He always brings it right back to the Cross and explains that only Jesus Christ can fully satisfy.

    Highly recommended!

    Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for my honest review, which I have given. I was not required to write a positive review and have not been compensated for it in any way. All opinions expressed are my own.

  • I found this book very informative, and eye-opening. I’ll admit, I found myself relating in several ways. It’s pretty obvious I’ve ended up with “the wrong guy,” more than once, sadly. It gives me a greater desire to truly fall in love with my Saviour, and make Him first in my life. Sometimes I find it hard to trust even God, though.

    My daughter plans to read this book, and share it with a couple of her friends. I pray God speaks to each of their hearts.

  • This book and compelling to read with also had a lot of encouraged to all woman specially a single or dating woman with offering to understand and pursue Christ, trust in God’s plan, and depend on his grace while encouraging to be smart woman and be patient in waiting for God’s best. This will be a greatest time to reminding all woman and friend who are dating or about to start having a relationship with someone that to be sure they will not want to be with the wrong guy. This book will give us a basic of how to think carefully for whom you should date and marry no matter you desire, Christ will sustain you as you wait. Lean into him. He is enough for this life and for the life to come.

  • This is a good book for Christian women who are dating or considering it. Reju writes about wrong choices and why they are made. Identifying the wrong men also includes good teaching. Young women and those mentoring them will benefit from reading this book.

  • SHE’S GOT THE WRONG GUY is a book I was iffy about. Do I want to review it? No, yes, maybe, nah, not relevant to me… And then my daughter started um, sort of dating the wrong guy. And when another call out came to review the book, I thought, okay, yes, I’ll read it and give it to my daughter to read.

    SHE’S GOT THE WRONG GUY is a book about women Deepak Reju has counseled and why they choose the wrong guy. It also has plenty of biblical reasons why the men they chose were bad choices and what the Bible has to say about such a thing. It left me beginning to feel as if there are no perfect men out there (and there’s not) but toward the end it does leave encouragement and some guidelines of things to look for in a potential mate.

    I’ve been married thirty years and I think Deepak Reju wou

  • Reju points out many important issues and what should be red flags in dating.The examples were chosen really well to illustrate his points and made the reading experience more enjoyable. I also appreciated that he didn’t write off the “wrong guys” completely and instead explained when it is okay to hope and wait and when it’s not. The style was clear and easy to understand.

    I would definitely recommend to read this book to avoid some mistakes while dating or to share and discuss it with your friends. I really think this book will be helpful for many Christian single women.

  • Deepak Reju does not merely warn single Christian women about who not to marry; he counsels ladies to look to Jesus in trust and as their treasure while they worship Him and wait for what He may have in store. To all single Christian women who want to follow the wisdom of God’s word in waiting and dating, I recommend you grab this book!

  • Reju makes a strong point: the emphasis of our lives is not to get married but to worship God. The relationship we have with God is the most important relationship we will have. Getting married is secondary.

  • If I could give everyone a copy of this – regardless of girl, guy, married, single – I would. Seriously. She’s Got the Wrong Guy is as much about the guy as it is the girl. Reju pulls no punches and challenges both genders to step up and be who God calls them to be.

    Further, Reju speaks some stark truths that I frankly think everyone could benefit from. We live in a world (both Christian and secular) saturated by the notion that single people are lesser. The church suffers from this, and the secular world suffers from this, and we don’t realize it. But we need to change it. God has not promised me marriage. But he promised me himself. And that’s the best thing I can ever have.

  • God is Love says:

    She’s Got the Wrong Guy by Deepak Reju, MDiv, PhD, is like a well-planned, detail-oriented roadmap to romantic relationships.

    Reju uses his expertise and experience as a pastor of biblical counseling to paint a clear and focused picture of how single women can avoid Mr. Wrong and instead, marry Mr. Right. However, this is more than your typical “Meet Mr. Right” book on dating and relationships. The author brings God into the roadmap and points the reader to God as the Ultimate Guide.

    This book is divided into three sections. Read my comments underneath each part, which I’ve highlighted in bold type:

    Part One: From Problems to Faith

    My favorite quote from this section is this: “Instead of worrying about how to put yourself in the path of an eligible man, put yourself in the path…

  • The bottom line I got from the book is to trust God, and know that He wants the best for you. Remember to put Him first and follow his direction. I think the book is a good tool to use for single women who want to have wisdom when looking for their mate.

    I received a copy of this book from LitFuse. The review is my own opinion.

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  • Honestly at first I didn’t think I would like this book but I am glad this is out there for any Christian woman that is dating. Its a good book to have especially if your dating. You definitely want to find the right guy.

  • Noveltea says:

    Why I Choose this Book:

    Reading the backcover blurb brings up questions I’ve asked multiple times. Plus, the book (and especially the cover) seemed interesting.

    What I Thought about this Book:

    I was somewhat apprehensive when I went into this book – having no clue if I’d agree with the author on any or all of the points, but also extremely eager to read the book and figure out what the author had in mind. I certainly didn’t want a book of fluff, and I don’t think anyone would accuse this book of that. Mr. Reju dove right into the thick of it, and with examples and a grace-filled tone kept the book serious and on mark the entire time.

    Part 1 Talks about what some of the problems with dating are today…. Such as people look at marriage and dating differently than they used to and so every

  • Moments says:

    Half of the chapters each focus on a specific characteristic of a guy and why this particular trait makes him a wrong or poor choice, for example being unchurched, unteachable and angry to name a few. There are Biblical account and verses that back up the thoughts of the author and other accounts that are shared throughout. This is a really good book that is overall pretty short and easy to read, but filled with so much wisdom.

  • A few weeks ago, I did a series of polls using Girlz 4 Christ’s Instagram stories. All of them were about relationships. Presumably, most of our Instagram followers would consider themselves Christians, so I asked questions surrounding that idea, from hotly-debated topics such as “Do you prefer dating or courting?”, to what I thought would be unanimous questions like “Would you ever consider dating a non-Christian?” I assumed just about everyone would vote “no” for that last question, but boy was I wrong!

    Just as I was wrong about the poll results, some girls get caught up in the wrong relationship with the wrong guy. It may be because that guy’s not a Christian (which about 10% of our female Christian voters would… READ THE REST AT GIRLZ4CHRIST.ORG

  • Fruitbearers says:

    Reju’s story examples are relatable to single women and dating scenes in today’s society. He backs up his discussion with Biblical reasons and wisdom. The practical advice and prudent insights in this book are truly valuable and must be heeded. The book is written with compassion and understanding. Choosing whom to marry is the second most important decision you’ll every make (only second to your decision to trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior). Choose wisely! I highly recommend this God-honoring, Christ-centered book to all single Christian women!

  • Overall, this is a 4 stars. I like the way the author created this book, but, like I said, it’s not for me, since I’m happily married now to the one that God picked for me. But, if you are someone who is single and looking, then grab this book. You may find just what you need to do within it’s pages. Great job, Mr. Reju!

  • Geared towards christian women who are dating or will be dating soon, She’s Got The Wrong Guy is a beautiful reminder to make sure Christ is the number one priority in your life.

    As the mother of four teenage/young adult daughters, this is a book that I desire for my girls to read. I highly recommend this book for all christian women, young or old, who are facing the world of dating.

  • For me, I was impressed with the title. I have limited dating experiences. I never been big on dating and relationships. I started late in life dating.
    Reju also discusses how women settle for men because they want marriage or motherhood. Settling and ignoring red flags can affect your morals, values, and faith. As I got older, I had to pay for the consequences of my actions, including a more jaded personality.

  • What an unique, interesting book on dating! It’s unlike any other book I have read on the topic and I found the content to be engaging the whole way through. This book is written for single women and encourages them to hold true to Godly principles and be patient with God’s timing when it comes to men.

  • I am pretty sure all of us know someone who has settled for the wrong guy or maybe you are that person who is in a less than stellar relationship. This book is perfect for anyone who has struggled with failed relationships and have wondered why, the author does a great job at describing various kinds of men out there, what their tendencies are and why they are best to be avoided. Filled with great wisdom and insight this book is an amazing dating resource and is a great reminder that you don’t have to settle!

  • I love this book and I think that it could not come at a better time. Our society is so impatient, and we are inundated with dating sites, phone apps, commercials, romance movies and books, that we sometimes feel like it is never going to happen to us. What an important thing to remember – that God’s plan is perfect for us.

  • Written by Deepak Reju, it’s a book delving into the reasons behind relationship “settling” and how it all comes together. We’ve all had that relationship we regret, or thought “what was I doing” etc, and in this book it touches the heart and soul of those feelings.

    It’s a great teaching tool for those who need it, a great “mentor” for those who seek it & a great read!

  • In Deepak Reju’s book She’s Got the Wrong Guy, he discusses why women settle for guys that are never going to meet their needs. Reju breaks down the 10 most common types of “wrong guys” that women settle for and how to spot them. He also talks extensively about the kind of guy that Christian women should be looking for instead. The thing that really got me about She’s Got the Wrong Guy is the fact that Reju does a great job of pointing the reader back to Christ. What is the ultimate goal of dating? The same goal as everything else for the follower of Christ, to glorify Him. Reju just puts it in better perspective than most.

    Overall, I give She’s Got the Wrong Guy a solid A+. I think that Reju’s work would be a fabulous book for a single women’s Bible study group.

  • I remember longing to be married and wondered if it would ever happen. It seemed like a far-off dream and I was tempted to just settle for any man. I thought that I’d never meet someone once I graduated from college so the closer I neared to graduation, the more pressure I felt. Now I obviously know God would have brought him along in his timing, but I wish this book had been there for me to read while I was in the waiting period.

    Deepak Reju has written a book that single ladies and teens need to read. I mean even read it several times over your life. And married women? They need to read it too! Sometimes it’s easy to forget that whole stage and those feelings that come along and this book reminded me of that time. It would also be a fantastic book to go through if you’re mentoring.

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